I swallowed your vile semen and you don't know what color my fucking eyes are!?
he is training for a marathon but can't last more than five minutes on top. worst tuesday night ever
Was just grinding with my bio TA. She asked why i wasnt studying
STOP fucking him and come play in the snow with us!
Shaving your vagina at 8 months pregnant is not an easy chore.
Got kicked out of the baseball game with a 4 officer escort. Not bad for a monday night.
Dude i don't know we had to beg the bouncer to let us in because you were bleeding everywhere and he saw you run into a dumpster
He looks like he'd be great Lego character.
What's worse: not calling my parents in Dallas to make sure they're alright or not taking shelter to masturbate all over my douchebag roommates clothes?
I worry about you.
We have started to decorate penises.
He was making a joke about signing my name on this piece of paper. He has a whole bucket filled with names on pieces of paper. I think thats how he keeps count.
She was way too drunk so I dropped her off at her house and smoked a huge blunt with her mom.
I need to stop getting so drunk at bowling
Someone had to wrestle her in the chocolate pool, I'm glad I was man enough to step up and do it
Dude, he turned on “London Bridge” by Fergie and GAVE ME A LAP DANCE.
Randomize
