like if they didnt have tits and vagina, they have no idea how uninteresting to us they would be
highlight of my day: just saw a crying girl get dropped off at home wearing only socks, booty shorts, and a dirty wifebeeter. I wonder what happened to the costume...
By getting ready I mean putting baby powder in my hair and possibly changing my pajamas to another pair of pajamas
I just recycled a years worth of liquor bottles. I can feel my alcoholic carbon footprint shrinking
Things got outta hand once she told me to water-board her with Patron.
i have a queen bed, a cherrywood bed frame, and gold sheets. how are you saying no to me right now?
i refuse to hook up with a girl that looks like drew carey.
It's like rock paper scissors. Cold showers and smoking beat hangovers.
I'm naked, I'm drunk, and I'm all up on social media right now
They're frat boys at heart and have sickly, dusty, rotting souls.
how much boxed wine can one drink before work in a couple of hours?
He's talking about feelings now. I don't even know if he came???
wtf why is there glitter all over my dog
I frew up on some kids lovely sidealk chald drawings..
I get so pissed when there is something that NEEDS to be made fun of and you're not here.
Randomize