He said he's gonna start calling me "Benny" because we're "friends with bennyfits"
our new exchange student wants to hear all about America's greatest politician, "Oprah." it's gonna be a long fucking day
Just woke up. My philosophy paper is a play, and my paper for musical theater is about physics. That's some dank shit you sold me
what has two thumbs and is going to bang you boss on monday?
Currently coming up with judgment, the game. Works well on buses, will probably be more entertaining in bars.
just had to make the 420 edibles gluten free and kosher for passover.
yea, their son has been arrested on more than one occassion, their daughter is pregnant and their other daughter graduated but she was adopted, so clearly genes are everything.
sorry for the naked aussie man in your room last night, he got lost on his way to the bathroom
i just want to attach a dildo to the ceiling and ride it like a gay spiderman.
Oh that's what I forgot last night.. To make out with her.
You came over, called every girl Comrade Heather, and then declared that you were an Eagle, and we were your young.
So all in all, a good night.
I am walking funny today. And it's sad because it's from the bad encounter with the sidewalk rather than a good encounter with a stripper
Im sorry i offered the man at mcdonalds your hand in marriage in exchange for some french fries
WEED IS MY SPIRIT ANIMAL
That one probably shouldn't have been in caps
Have you ever forgotten how to pee? I did last night. Standing in front of the urinal with dick in hand. WTF were we drinking???
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