we have pet lesbian snakes
why do our vaginas work when we are blacked out?? it's just not fair.
VITAMINS IN VODKA. IM NOT LYING.
He also has a monumental penis. It's unbelieveable. I'm sorry but he's perfect.
You were wasted and fell in a pond when you met him, it's not like you were on top of your game
i took it, then realized you live 3 ours away. but if you start driving now, im almost positive I'll still be hard
You were sad because he was "taking it out on the plant"
What bar did i puke in last night
by bar you must mean bars and by in you must mean on
I'm eating my emotions. I am no longer interested in anybody other than my own hand and vagina.
I'm 11 for 13 getting drunker than the person who's birthday it is
Could have been worst, could have seen me bent over biting her carpet while her son was inside me, i think i would have respnded with "i was just trying to be quiet"
I also like to call Halloween "Mystery Fuck Day"
Haha I haven't even had my interview yet and I'm already trying to fuck my way to the top. 'Merica.
Please tell me how the stripper got back to Sarah's from the trailer park
He's got the good dick trifecta - flip phone, works outside, bed with no headboard.
Randomize
