i think the world will end when pigs can fly. think about it, everyone says blah blah when pigs fly. so shit would be going down if they ever can.
oh fuck your right
haha i think we're both just down to be fuck buddies..but i do have a hickey and a bit of a big lip and fucking burns on my knees..note to self hooking up on a golf course is NOT that exciting
God. I look like such a fucking stand up guy wearing polo shirts. You would totally trust me not to date rape you.
alcohol turns me into mario batali of easy mac
wore my lacy blue thong that says "hello there" across the front today for my gynecologist appointment. I live to make people uncomfortable
Some old truck driver just made me smell his beard I hope tonight turns out better
I can't believe you're asking me to think of a sincere, creative way to apologize to your penis at 2 am.
Try not to get arrested for it, but otherwise i support you
He's CUTE. and foreign
You think you know everything because you're wearing a sweater
I think I'm leaving the streamers and balloons up from 4th of july till after he stops by. It'll be like the universe is celebrating his massive dick.
I plan to try out my new vibrator and watch Star Trek: The Next Generation. It's a busy night.
After an orgasm, I always feel the urge to sing A Whole New World from the move Aladdin and I'm not quite sure why.
I would rather contract a disease that would eat me from the inside out and make me suffer painfully while it slowly killed me than to put myself through the 20 minutes of agony that is having sex with you ever ever again.
I think you're talking dirty but I'm not sure???
We have been dating for 5 months. I'm friends with his sister. Yet my number in his phone is still saved as "hot bartender"
i woke up with a shamrock tattoo on my wrist and a fat bruise on my hipbone. please tell me its not real.
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