If I don't come home tonight, I've died in a pile of gay.
she came over and started getting naked and said its not like i came over to just hang out
youve hit the jackpot
He had personality for days, but cock for only minutes
make sure i look cute passed out on the couch.
Last night was proof dads should hug their daughters more
dude,it's memorial day.not getting wasted=you're a terrorist
I dont care how high you are, meat and sprinkles dont mix dude
Everything tastes like Lysol. Am I dying?
I was an emotional waste case that night. She made me stroke her ponytail.
Teasing with taco bell is not funny. High or sober.
Can I also remind you that we insisted on touching his mustache?
Well of course I remember it took up like 20 minutes of my night.
Her boyfriend offered to buy me a vibrator. I'm not sure how to feel about that.
you came home and ate 12 bananas. you really didnt think mom would know you were high?
Adulthood is putting your bongs in the dishwasher because you're too lazy to clean them manually.
Are you ok dude?
I ate at the cafeteria for the first time yesterday and today I think I had an hour long fart.
Randomize