Lost. The hour! Funtime!!!!
Do you not remember dry humping your dog for 20 minutes at oxfest dude?
lets put it this way..we'd win on tool academy
It was confusing and full of hummus
i had to take my roommates dildo out of her suitcase so I could use it
the suitcase or the dildo?
i have a $600 bill for my ER visit in which they did nothing but suggest to me that i am an alcoholic.
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
Desperately trying not to throw up over the side of the ferry back to CT. Can't be the first one of the season.
she said I was laying next to a garbage can in the subway doing key bumps and screaming "its my fucking birthday" repeatedly
It's official, no more fat chicks or even close to that, my balls are 2 dimentional
Just cleaned someone else's sperm off of my bedroom wall. Never throwing a house party again.
He took off his priest costume and proceeded to dryhump the teletubby.
I understand, but unless there is an intervention for me being planned, i DON NOT want to talk about my life choices
Remember the time you cried about coconuts
I was so drunk I asked my mom if she had always been my mom or if it was someone else for a while
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