the truckdriver in the lane next to me just looked down and motorboated in my direction.
Skinny jeans should not be made in size 14. Then, it's just a lie.
he showed up at my house with a hand-stiched sweater that said "girlfriend?"
he farted when he came. not the best ending to my day.
So I was gonna stay in tonight but the president got me motivated! I will not quit. Bars here I come.
Love me.
GO THE FUCK TO BED IT'S 3AM I AM NOT TAKING YOU TO MCDONALDS.
Just for one nugget?
The cop used the word "belligerent" 16 times in the report. You get to bail him this time. I'm not up for it.
They were so huge my eyes were just drawn to them. Boob gravity man.
I know you are gonna wanna ask a lot of questions but when we are home I need to cover your face with deli meat and photograph it
I don't know if apple cider everclear was such a good idea
I walked out in my coconut bra, and that's when it all went downhill.
NO HE PUT HIS HAND IN HIS PANTS BEFORE HE TOUCHED THE BONG.
ILLEGAL
Such a shame we didn't work out. We would've been a power couple producing NFL linemen :/
I told him I lived in the apartment beside his brother and he said "oh, you're the girl that watches really loud porn!"
Video on mandys page of you drinking upside down was finally put up...too bad all the comments were about me and him fighting in the background while he screamed "BLOW BIG BETSY!'
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