we need blinds so i can safely watch porn during the day
I got to work, greeted my staff, then went into the bathroom to throw up. Who hired me to run a business???
In Denver there are more bars per capita than any other city also the healthiest city. That means lots of drunk girls and no fatties.
So after tequila Thursday, Jess broke her arm table dancing. Now her and Andrew look like the perfect drunk couple, matching casts and all.
If Amber from Teen Mom can get a new boyfriend, so can I.
Walk of Shame today included voting.
Oh my God, I want him to live with his face in my vagina forever.
I rarely go in there. Unless it's for mini cadbury eggs and whiskey.
Hey. Whatever time u wake up let me know Ur alive. I need my vegas partner... I don't think they let u take corpses on a plane.
I wanted to be mature but the vodka was resilient.
Oh my god. I'm not ready to be an adult. I'm not ready.
at work, .. 47 yr old boss was in a fight. 2 BLACK EYES. I may get fired. I cant stop laughing
He's like a computer from 2001 in a 2014 world. It just doesn't work. Lots of glitches.
Dude I swear I'm scooping human shit out of the litter boxes. What the fuck happened last night?
He tripped and fell all the way to the ground and then stood right back with out spilling a drop of his 3/4 full glass of rum and coke. It was like watching something from the matrix
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