His pickup line was "I'll eat you out"
He did it well too
lol earlier she was acting like a normal gf... and then BANG! shes touching herself again...
you ever wonder how lesbians feel about girls being in relationships with other girls on facebook? could it annoy them more than it annoys me?
when your english prof writes "this was a real good paper" on your essay, you know you're at the wrong college
I'm not a pervert.. I just like to be naked...
Way too hungover to be taking this many family pictures
Like if I don't roll around in my puke, the night will be a failure.
It's been 5 months since I last wore a condom.
Not including when spray tanning
I feel like I'm full of double a batteries and cocaine.
I ate shit on a rock, and when I got up this car full of people asked me if I was okay, and I just sprinted away screaming "I am a banana!"
At no time is it ever okay for my doctor to compliment my tattoos, when giving me a physical exam.......
I've literally exhausted all the videos on pornhub. It took like 4 years, but I've done it. I did that quicker than I finished college
like I'd leave you in a situation like that..pfft. what kinda friend do you think I am?
...a stoned one.
Someone threw up pink in the shower, there's a golf cart tipped over on the lawn and Cousin Brian is missing. What could Friday night throw at us?
I can't wait to see you & have espresso-fueled sex
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