You know, if there were no such thing as marriage, i don't think porn would exist.
captain morgan taught me last night that resee's puffs are way better when eaten straight out of the sink.
From what I remember, he had one ball. But it was cute
She posted on her FB that he moved out...It's like she wants me to fuck him.
I believe I won the Golden Vodka Bottle of sadness last night for crying while being party boyed.
He went down on me while I had rollers in my hair. I've never felt more like a lady.
I'm doing shots of jagger in dixi cups and making a lesson plan for my 8th grader summer school class. My life is so close to adulthood I can taste it
This family outing has commenced with me throwing up in an apple orchard
Lets watch game of thrones and have sex every time someone is naked. It'll be like a drinking game but better.
Let's just says his mouth writes a lot of checks that his penis just can't cash. Don't waste your time.
we told you you couldn't get your dick sucked because you were a girl and you yelled at us and said we were 'discriminating you'
Just woke up from an extremely erotic dream featuring Steve Buscemi. Now I can't sleep.
I would have rather been getting my vagina slowly waxed all day then be here.
So congratulations, your penis has now sent me to urgent care not once, but twice!
where are my pants?
in the oven.
Randomize
