I have no idea who these bands are he's listening to. If his current playlist was a pandora station, however, it would be titled "music for closet cock gobblers"
Oh, don't even get me started. Harry Potter is so pure. Twilight is just teenage girl porn.
my shit smells like andre
Whenever someone from high school gets pregnant or has a pregnancy scare my self esteem grows a good 5 points
downstairs . braiding the drunk passed out girls hair, she will thank us In the morning
I started sorting laundry at 6 am. He finally got the hint and left
I threw all my money on the ground and said it was for homeless people and fell down the stairs
You were throwing up and said, "Whipe my face, I must look presentable at all times."
So the night ended when we tried making fireworks out of gunpowder and oregano. You can figure out how that went.
No one should ever have to Neosporin their nipples. At least he apologized.
Besides the fact that the only male who has shown an interest in me in the last 5 months has a strange and unfortunate resemblance to fucking Frodo, I've been good thanks
I'm pretty stoned, and for a second I forgot that I'm not actually Barbie and I was getting excited about all the fun we were going to have on my jet.
I told him I was gunna have sex with him in both of our cars at the same time.
it's like i'm making a family tree of tunnel buddies for my vagina
I'm on my third roll of toilet paper. Today can fuck right off.
Randomize
