dude u gotta turn down the techno when u bang that chick its creepy
I gave him a blowie and after he said he wanted to send a giftbasket to the girl we met through.
For once I'd like to have a Taco Sunday without having some random drunk chick flee my house half naked and in tears.
one night of dollar margs at dinner and dollar beers at the bar later, i am throwing up in his shower and gurgling soap and water to kill the taste of sin in my mouth. dollar days need to stop endng like this.
he had me stop mid-blow job to make me use my phone to id a song on the radio..
i wasnt really sure how to responde to that.
Please save me from this creative non fiction class. I just wrote a paper about how I spend unhealthy amounts of time with my cat.
I spend unhealthy amounts of time watching RuPaul's Drag Race.
I referred to the cat as amicable.
you strike me as the kind of person who when they spill something on their lap they take off their pants and eat it anyways. right off the crotch seam.
sex on the stairs. not our finest idea.
Two drag queens are fighting over me. And yet the night is still getting weirder
Never let a one night stand shower at your place. My razor, lotion, and brush disappeared. #girlcode
I woke up with my face covered in mustard. Your mom said I ate hotdogs like a pornstar
I think she tried to suffocate me with her tits...she almost succeeded.
Your cousin just directly asked you for nudes
I 100% barfed while bumping the DMX remix of reading rainbow
Eaten today: granola bar, pumpkin donut, and fritos. Oh, college nutrition.
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