Ok walking to car, 3 gay guys park get out of car, one on phone says 'I dont know but I was definately getting some curb rubbing'
took him home. told him i would rock his world. passed out. a for effort f for follow thru
Im at the hospital with monitors on and a giant green top hat. i blew a 24somethin. Im fucked.
Had a couple pieces of pizza for breakfast...suck on that Jamie Oliver.
Just coerced a Santa to buy me a handle. Tis the season.
This dude is being a total douche
Just because it's Christmas Eve does not mean the liquor store has to give you a free bottle of peppermint schnapps
thanks for celebrating my birthday so severely 2 years ago. i just found your hospital discharge papers in my closet.
anything for my little brother.
i think he was starting go for a boob grab when we both realized the middle of a public tennis court wasn't the place
Just had a memory of you pretending to be a begging dog putting your head on my lap while I fed you. Great night to try a new drug.
So was I the only one that was competing in the whale hunt?
He goes to Columbia so regardless of how he looks I should fuck him right?
I can get stoned and we can bake and then I can eat 70% of it and it will be awesome
"There should be some kind of award for sleeping with your ex 9 times in 3 days."
Where does dick fit into Maslow's hierarchy of needs?
RESPOND QUICKLY THIS IS AN EMERGENCY!!! LITERALLY AN 11 INCH DICK!!!!! HELP.
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