About tomorrow. if it dosent fit dont force it. Just pushit as far as you can and i'll wiggle the rest of the way
About to fuck some random fraternity guy I met at a party. I guess this would be the right time to say I don't want to be with you anymore.
I'm functioning at the level of a challenged walrus.
WHY ARE YOU POKING HOLES IN MY 3AM LOGIC?!
True that.. I am going to ride a gold plated unicorn across a field of cocaine and coach purses when I graduate.
That was beautiful.
In case you're wondering what eggs stolen from an elementary school's chicken coop taste like, delicious. Delicious is what they taste like.
Wake up. Eat bread. Find your dignity. Don't be late for work again.
Those boxers don't belong to me anymore. They belong to the desert surrounding Phoenix.
PS I almost downloaded grindr to see if any guys wanted to buy me chinese food..
The irony of the fact that I'm going to be starting my period on Thanksgiving. Something to truly be thankful for.
As he put it in he shouted "geronimo!"
Wow... So was the sex good?
Yeah but it doesn't matter. My vagina is not a pool.
You don't feed me, fuck me, or fulfill me.
Dude, someone puked in my washing machine last night, I tried turning it on to clean it...not a good idea
i like coming up with different names when i reference that night. 'the night i got kicked out of the bar', 'the night i escaped from the hospital', 'the night we had that threeway'...
It was a successful conference for my sales and my sex life. Those are probably related
Randomize
