Ok see being that I'm not present or participating your vague texts "neeeeed that" and "vagina" leave a lot to question.
You basically tried to anal probe my passed out friend with a lamp
He is just lying there. People are throwing money onto his chest as they walk by...
Just did it in a room with glowing stars to Peter Gabriel's down to earth on shrooms. This is like god
Found a girl that was gonna make out with 25 people for her 25th birthday. I was like #12. Made top half!
After the 3rd time his brother walked in on us I asked "Does he ever knock?" his reply "This is his room"... Turns out he didn't even live there... I feel like a hoe.
I'm just trying to absorb as much of the fluids from the carpet as I can.
DOUBLE NIPPLE PIERCINGS ARE HORRIFYING
Pornhub is still operational. Therefore, the world has NOT come to an end in the blizzard!
Let's celebrate our country being screwed by screwing.
He walked into the bar with a pillow and put his head down...nuff said
Like seriously how stupid drunk do you have to get befor you start finding dolphin lighters and shit in your undergarments
I slept like a rock because of your dick. I'll thank him personally later.
My drug dealer was just on ESPN..
Leave it to my mom and I to turn the hearing into a drinking game.
Randomize
