oh posh. I need a real boy. To fill my void. This guy has potential. He is a Republican.
***** and i were talking about Republicans today. They are usually the champs of mediocrity but we decided mediocrity is underrated.
Just passed a sign for an "adult food and fuel superstore". Wtf does that even mean?
im not sure but a few things come to mind which just makes me giggle
Guys should not giggle. Ever.
i am only reminding you that showing off your fellatio skills on vegetables is probably not an appropriate party trick
You know, I really only think drinking is a problem if you're not good at it.
I thought about donating plasma but thats not the way i want to find out that i have aids
I've been practicing for you. Including stockpiling medical supplies for curing hangovers.
Someone shattered a urinal.
It's official. Hawaii is 100% better when you're stoned.
The floor and the wall just switched. I'm falling.
he texted me at 3am asking for "one of my famous blowjobs"
just had a very awkward conversation with the concierge at the hotel, they threw your underwear out
Best oral ever, hands down so to speak. but I'm starting to want to meet that lesbian truck driver he says he's better than. Just for comparison purposes of course.
Well, while we went through airport security, I found out Mom got her clit pierced, so there's that.
gin. gin. Gin. GIN GIN GINGINFFdJH
the guy in front of me in walmart is buying a blowtorch, potato chips, and condoms. I'm curious and horrified at the same time.
Randomize
