"Worlds Wildest Videos" should be called "Crazy White People"
that girl looks like she smells like hot dog water...
I cant help but love a girl who informs me of the pregnancy test results by emailing me a YouTube clip of Barney Stinsons not a fathers day speech.
Your "OraGel will numb anything" theory was the worst thing I ever believed in.
I just got peed on. This karma circle is starting to get vicious.
I figured out why her friends always say g is for god when she leaves with someone. She wears a double g cup bra
THERE IS A WINE CUBE IN MY ASS THIS IS NOT GOING AS PLANNED
too late I already started a fight with someone named luscious
So we broke my sobriety. Played life size childhood games. Broke into a cold hot tub and got laid. I think this is BFF quality!
Some male strippers are here, I threw pancakes at them. It's ok
Well I found my neighbors on tinder if you're wondering how my night went
Just shared a bacon biscuit with my cat.... Life is weird for me right now
was that the third sophomore you've banged this week?
third one in three days
...this is why fuck buddies should be only for grownups.
I asked him if we were exclusive and he followed up with, "If a tree falls in the woods and no ones around, does it still make a sound?" Wtf am I supposed to do with that?!
Randomize
