I have to collect my sorority sisters from greek row... I hate how being dd is a night and morning job
She woke up 3 seperate times, each time she had a look of pure terror on her face, she had no clue where she was.
I'm walking down the street with a Starbucks in one hand and a flask in the other. People seem to have a staring problem
I feel like college is just one giant drunken trip to Taco Bell
Bren left me with a lovely parting gift. Newfouund alcoholism. I'm on the kitchen floor, hugging a bottle of vodka. It's my only friend now.
I need a gatorade, my back cracked, my crimper, my shot glass, a sock of rice and an explanation.
You did this to yourself.
Just face planted the stairs. Apparently Santa brought an extra step while I was at the bar... Fucking dick
I was like kind of drunk but mostly just very enthusiastic about beyonce
Figured out why that fly won't leave. It keeps buzzing through my weed smoke
Fly high, Fly.
Its perfect, I supply the pot she makes the brownies. I love the culinary dept.
That makes 14 Xmas cards already! Middle aged people are really nice to their dealers.
If we try hard enough and believe in ourselves, we can still make it to Wendy's before they close
Why make bad decisions when I can watch you?
Like he's moved to LinkedIn creeping on me since he's blocked everywhere else & I'm just so confused does he think I'm going to post daily updates of my life on FUCKING LINKEDIN
I feel like I have the I just lost my virginity face and everyone at the grocery store knows it.
Randomize
