i've come to the conclusion that there is no classy way to apply chloroseptic spray to your butthole.
Is it weird i consider You Sexy Thing our song?
i took my goldfish out of his bowl last night and put him in my bed
what kind of dress can i wear to my high school reunion that says "even though i'm more successful than all of you i'm still up for sex"?
ok, just found out the kid i had random sex with in April was on wheel of fortune so i can really no longer say i regret that night
my boss told me he would look for my wallet when he went back to the strip club tonight.
Party at my house. Beach themed. Clothing optional.
Wouldn't that make it "Nude Beach Themed?"
This guy needs to come out; I can feel him sucking my dick from across the room.
Is it bad that i wanna bang this girl ONLY because she looks like my cousin?
But college guys get to crossfade so there's that
No idea what that is
Like getting bent? When you drink and smoke together...
I'm 30 stop using your cool kids words
I discovered a new stretch mark. DONE. LITERALLY DONE.
NO ITS THAT IM A SEXUAL DEVIANT AND CANT FILTER MYSELF
I think I’ve been affected by his dad mustache. I wanna ride it.
My feet surprised me
I'm just going to tell you this I knocked up your girlfriend. I didn't mean to I thought it was somebody else I wasn't drunk but it was dark.
The truth is better her than my wife.
Randomize
