Her little brother walked in right as I was finishing and was like "uhhh hey there's a lunar eclipse outside"
She's running around bumping into to people trying to keep a balloon she filled with vodka in the air. Please tell me she has a secret off switch you didn't tell me about.
Let's just say a refrigerator got involved and after that I had to send him home.
whoever put homecoming and halloween on the same weekend owes me a new liver and a get out of jail free card.
He is so amazingly handsome. I just wanna fuck every shred of decency out of him.
I kinda wanna Instagram the giant vag stain on my sheets. That is something to be proud of. It's a Christmas miracle.
The drunk mom in a firefighter hat just told her to leave.
I just made out with Ricky Ullman of Phil of the Future fame and I don't know what I'm doing anymore. Help.
The saddest thing about graduating is that we won't have free access to STI screening anymore
And after we debated politics. My dream come true: naked, just got done having great sex with a hot mixed guy, talking about why social welfare programs are a bad idea
you guys have a strange definition of the word fun. I would have said dangerous, terrifying, or life-threatening. of course, bowling can now be described the same way.
It was big, black, and had a smiley face tattooed on it. It was the perfect penis.
One day I'll learn not to get drunk on a plane. Today is not that day.
was i wearing any clothes at that point?
socks and a thong
You came into the club around midnight with a carton of tropicana o.j. & said you were starting a revolution.
Randomize