I found a pair of size 15 female undies on my floor?? is that big?
I knew we were gonna fuck after she told me she's seen that Porno before
If I wanted to fuck someone, I'd go for John. I'm meeting Bryan cuz I wanna get to know him better. And eventually fuck him. But not this Tuesday.
Before you become official, we should get a hotel room and fuck our brains out. Sort of like a going away party for your penis.
I don't think he wanted to hear that my most serious relationship was my 1 1/2 year fuck buddy... I think he figured out that's where he's heading
I'd bet your vomit would be flammable at this point. Can I try to light it?
We wouldn't be friends if you didn't.
Yeah. He can't come because his mom found the pizza box under his bed with my underwear in it. He acted confused, guess because i forgot to tell him..
Ur dog was like a damn middle school chaperone this morning trying to lay between us after what he saw us do last night
I got a second ticket last night for drunkly using my one call to order a pizza and get it delivered at the police station
I just ran into mom and dad day drinking at the bar while I skipped class and was day drinking at the same bar.
I just had the worst experience of my life, my grandma found my condoms.
Nothing says I love you as your fiancé bringing back home your drunk brother from his own stag party
He called my boobs fluffy. Part sexy part pilsbury dough boy. Part sexy pilsbury dough boy. I'm so confused. And flattered?
walk of shamed to graduation. ending college with a bang....
Just got my LSAT score...if you need me I'll be drunk in a ditch somewhere.
Randomize
