so I was just driving high and I stopped to let a pinecone cross the road because I thought it was a hedgehog.
After he finished I threw up my arms and shouted STEVE HOLT!
Friend I haven't seen in almost a year just IMed me to let me know that my mom stuck her boob out the window on the freeway at her.
Her mom responded by mooning my mother. I really don't know what's worse.
You never realize how many sex toys you have until you have to strategically hide them while moving out of your dorm.
Explain to me how "cheap asian titties" is a complement?
his mom gave me my lost underwear folded up along with the rest of my christmas present. tell me this cannot be happening.
I'm at your house, laying with your dog, eating taco meat, take your time.
Is it acceptable I'm laying in bed drinking airplane bottles?
In our world? Yes, but I'm disappointed yoiu are wasting airplane bottles. Save them for sneaky occasions
I bet his dick wears a tuxedo.
just pleasured myself to USA hockey beating Russia in the shoot out. god bless America.
It's 1am and I'm on LSD and I have diarrhea in a Dunkin Donuts. Help me
He put his burrito in the bag with his dildo.
THE AUSTRALIAN IS SINGLE AS FUCK.
I'm glad you still love me even when I change pants in the kitchen and demand you spoon me
She's kind of holyer-than-thou, like god himself came down and said "please cock block your roommate at every opportunity, and if you think she's thinking of sex, tell her she's a whore"
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