Can I ask u a weird question?
Sure
do u have the hershy squirts too?
if she shaves her mustache, i'll let her give me head
Just saw a group of asian tourists in safari outifts bow in thanks to the starbucks guys. And no Im not high.
This threesome is so guaranteed that dinner feels like a charade
Whoever said that a man can only cum up to 8 times a day is a fucking liar...or was never on adderall
Okay, we really need to start training for the St Pattys parade. 48 hours of green beer won't end well if we don't prep ourselves. 2 week bender starts now
there's a picture of you and pauly shore at a starbucks on my phone
Yeah, it kinda sucks. But it was fun while it lasted. And honestly, his penis is way too big for my life.
I mean it was like cry my eyes out or masturbate in my moms bathroom.
my vagina hasn't met your boyfriend yet ... makes me sad
The bathroom smells like ribs. What did you do?
Do you remember ripping my condom off last night while yelling "I DEMAND MY MEAT RAW" like a Viking?
he appreciated my fucking vagina for two hours he can appreciate my honesty
I think part of my soul drowned in beer and/or jack daniels last night.
GOOD MORNING! This is your wake up call! Just incase this text wasn't enough, I had sex on your bed last night while you were drunk hitting on my sister. Dan jizzed on your pillow! We rubbed it on both sides! Now get up and go to class!
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