went to the bathroom to piss, saw puke in the toilet thought wtf i dont remember puking, then turned around to find a chick i've never seen before passed out in my shower.
I just fell off my chair and knocked over the table. People are staring. That hungover.
It's a Lindsey's Going to Jail Theme party.
How do I explain the handcuffs and tanning goggles on our living room floor? There's rope too. The cats love the rope.
View of Vancouver Bay is obscured though the greasy hand prints from fucking against the window. Tip maid well.
Me hangover (as projected). That sounds like a plan. Ill do it for Mexico
He put those pics of him with those girls on facebook and tagged his wife in them
Tequila 1 marriage 0
Seriously? People are paying $45 for Surge?!? I've seen better one night stand decisions being made then the choices being made on amazon orders of Surge
I'm at the nutcracker high as shit. It's so beautiful. I cried.
It's my birthday, dammit, and I'm getting something for free. I don't care if it's just a drink at the bar.
YOU CAN GET THIS DICK FOR FREE
Well, my mom found the ball gag and whip. Looks like I'm never going home again.
Does it get any better than dating a guy with a vasectomy? The answer is NO. No it does not
im in DESPERATE NEED OF A COMPANION RIGHT NOW I’M MOTHER FUCKING TRIPPING SOLID GOLD BALLS
You went outside, peed in the front yard, and asked me to bring you some toilet paper.
I don't know what else to tell you.. just listen to some taylor swift and you'll know what to do in the morning
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