So me and friend just finished Eiffel towering this girl and sounds great in theory but after the high five has commenced its just a weird threesome especially when you make eye contact with your buddy during the session
It's almost summer. We need to start reconnecting with our home drug dealers.
i have now been nicknamed the screamer on the first, third, fourth, & six floor by all the ra's. only two more floors to go before i cover the entire dorm.
All I had with a note saying that my shoes are in the ceiling and good luck.
If you're wondering where your left shoe is you lost it in a bet with a homeless guy last night
I just listened to "Eye of the Tiger" and did 5 shots to prep going over to see him.
Welcome to drink and talk like a Russian afternoon.
Pirate drinking day will be planned for shortly
I approve this so hard.
FOund a bunch of old fireworks spring cleaning.
Who is our new insurance provider?
I fell off my bed and busted open my chin on the prisoner of azkaban. Somehow missed the almost empty Jose handle next to it. So guess what I was doing last night?
You don't know how emotionally damaged I am from crashing into that park maintenance van. I'll never ride a bike because of it.
THE VODKA TRAIN IS NOW PULLING INTO THE STATION
He said he cried as he watched porn yesterday; I'd say he's taking the break-up pretty bad....
Remember how we use to say "this will be the year I'll get my shit together!" And like we stopped doing that because we know that isn't happening anytime soon.
I woke up at her place in a kids bed hearing Sesame Street. She doesn't have kids!
i need you to come over and tell me if you can notice that i'm only wearing a teddy underneath my trenchcoat
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