he was pretty good aside from the whole putting his tongue on my butt thing
I dont think that drinking by ourselves on a saturday night counts as being "fun alcoholics"
On a scale of 1 to last weekend, how hungover are you?
i'm so sad bro, I can't get any pussy. I'm so sad
I'don't know who your are but its that time a day. Drunk it up. Did you buy a House for goundhogs days?
Are you seriously trying to guilt me into sending you naked pictures by saying "So I can look at them during dialysis" ?
Is it working?
Just picked them up. It took 6 holes and a handle of rum to evolve from golf to a demolition derby.
There's an entire pit crew of cart boys surveying the golf cart destruction.
I should have known our good time had gone to shit when his ankle bracelet started flashing.
Lol he touched my butt after his grad party and a shooting star went by. No kidding. My ass is mystical.
I've needed to start drinking protein shakes to keep up with her. It's like my dick just started doing crossfit.
My phone autocorrected "shhhhh" to "AHHHHHHHHH" and I feel like that says a lot about my life
When I come home and take my bra off and I'm served with a perfect grilled cheese along with a glass of wine. Priceless.
That's really the only reason I'm dating you, the prospect that I might get bacon
I just saw the co founder of Waffle House passed away Friday. Are you okay?
That's about the same time my life started falling apart... Coincidence?!?!? I think NOT!!!
Sorry I missed your birthday party. I caught a dick and rode it to O-Town
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