But regardless, you really stood out last night, you should give me a chance
Sorry but you seem like a potential womanizer
I think I just made patron unclassy I bought limes at a gas station and for salt we are using gas station packets of salt
On my way home right now. I miss you. let's cuddle. whiskey.
He fell off the roof... he clearly has not been preparing for summer.
Party Liz is going to have to have her wings clipped until someone gets me some baby reins to wear
You then showed up downstairs in only a robe, telling everyone how you were "the most chivalristic fratstar ever."
I began mixing captain Morgan and jack daniels and called it captain jack sparrow. I puked. a lot.
In other news there is a guy at my office who I'm pretty sure will be wearing someone's skin as a coat one day.
I don't want to flatter myself but after the way he was looking at me today I think it might be me.
WHAT KIND OF SELF RESPECTING 28 YEAR OLD WOMAN WAKES UP IN A FRAT HOUSE?!?'
The cougar kind?
I couldn't find pants for like 20 minutes so I was butt ass naked just sitting on your floor
My nose was gushing blood and he just kept screaming "she took it like a champ" to everyone there. Plus side though, bartender felt bad for me and gave me a free drink.
We just catapulted a jelly bean off of his hard dick into his mouth.......Happy Easter!
I'm no longer puke free since 2013 am I.
They think I'm one of them. I'm about to get drunk in a Santa suit and bust down the door singing Christmas carols.
The only thing I remember is the 300 pound man breaking ur railing from sliding down it at 3 am. Must of been a good night.
Randomize
