you looked like a weeble wobble. everytime we thought you were going to fall you bounced back up...you're an amazing drunk
you'd think he'd be slightly more humble with a penis that small
Could you explain why there is an Australian passport in your toilet?
She was so drunk yelling at me in my driveway to fuck her. It was the ghetto version of Romeo and Juliet.
Girl in my class with fire painted on her face. I. need. that. weed.
She's been divorced three times and use to raise cock fighters. Of course I'm interested in her
you're acting like its my fault you're allergic to sperm or something.
i told you we never speak of that again
I have some memory of taking a dump in a guitar case.
Pissed along side the highway while waving at all the traffic... if thats not a sign of a productive night to come then idk what is
Please do us both a favor and come rip my clothes off.
I just walked through the door and she ran up to me, hugged me, unzipped my pants and immediately started sucking my dick. Good day.
He showed up to a booty call with 2 tea bags, but no condom...
The room got awkwardly silent right as i yelled "leave him alone! I know plenty of straight guys who like to suck dick!"
The cat hopped on my bed and watched me masturbate naked with a vibrator. I've never felt more sorry in my entire life
My psychiatrist just sent me a dick pic
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