So he says "lean over this" which is a chain across the doorway, held into the wall with bolts. I do. Then he puts his weight on top of me to try and get it in.
It breaks. We fall.
I now have a broken nose, a concussion, and an infected, split lip. Why do I have the worst luck in guys?
Is there a "Plan B" app for my iphone?
I already brushed my teeth, and it's not even noon yet. Today's going to be a productive day.
I was more traumatized by the table collapsing while i was going down on you.
How do i tell my boyfriend " I'm taking the two weeks im in Europe to fuck my way across 9 countries" in a way where we will still be together?
I couldn't sleep so I drunk ellipticaled for an hour. Worst. Idea. Ever.
Her face just looks like a massive mistake. That's the only legitimate description I can say about it
Just came during my obgyn appt. I need to get laid.
I just saw him carrying his little sister while walking his puppy. And he was shirtless. I swear my ovaries just exploded
Don't get me wrong, I love talking about lube and such, but why are we?
I'm putting my hangover kit in my car for the trip to work tomorrow morning. Dedication
saw a dude wearin soccer cleats at the bar tonight. fuckin kiddin me man?
I still can't believe that dog licked my nipple.
I feel like you're the sexual bearcat I've always wanted to be.
Sitting in the dr office she literally looked at my throat and goes have you been having oral intercourse
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