Yeah. I hotboxed a windbreaker.
The remote chance that I may get a blowjob is about the only reason I have a shower every day.
how many days can you live off of Vicodin and frosty?? im going on 4 days......
Worst night here by far. And ive slipped in my own piss so thats saying something
I wanna throw up and cum in that order
I caught them hiding behind a car trying to have sex.
The hot guy sitting next to me in the lib is reading a book called "Impersonal sex in public places." How wrong would it be to give him my number when I bounce?
Curled up in the fetal position, trying not to throw up or think about my future, and humming songs from musicals to myself. You?
So, I'm playing the Doctor Who drinking game with my dogs, but they don't understand quite when to drink. Still counts as successful, though, right?
tell me why they applauded then the bartender locked himself in the bathroom when i walked into the bar today ????
I sang "A Whole New World" while I took his virginity
That is awesome that you did that.
The dog just shocked himself by peeing on Christmas lights, should I have saw that coming?
Just saw a rice crispy commercial and got emotional. I need to go home.
I just woke up on my neighbors floor with my boots on, but no pants. I have 3 separate taco bell receipts in my pocket.
I'm trying to find some better sex background music so his neighbors don't hate us. This is tedious.
Randomize
