watching a tv show about cocaine.. just explained to my mom why the test monkey chose coke over food
Dude I'm so glad we're not friends anymore. It would have made fucking your stepmom last night really awkward. Dickwad.
Oprah is sooooo fat. I can't even concentrate on Mackenzie Phillips talking about banging her dad
You threw up with your ski mask on still.
Trustme, don't ever look up when you're giving road head. It's awkward.
She cracked her neck before the blowjob and I knew shit just got real.
The last time I went to Vegas and the sun started to rise, my copilot went home with her nipples pierced.
All I'm saying is that if you have time for a 20 min shower bj you have time for me
Oh I see how it is...you can snap chat the world your balls but I wear dinosaur feetie pajamas and I'm the "weird one"
I mean I only got hit in the ass with ONE firework
Peeing in taco bell cups is part of the fun of going to taco bell
I 100% barfed while bumping the DMX remix of reading rainbow
I woke up uncovered, spread eagled to my dad saying "you really need to stop sleeping naked."
you thought the best thing to say to him was "you aint no fuckin cop"
where are you guys?
stoned at his house watching water boil
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