Hey I don't know if you will get this but all I know is you are so beautiful to .ee and? I dare anyone to stop me me from caring for you ante so beautiful so I kid you not gorgeous iyoiu are so beautiful to me i dare som.eone too stioo you
just gave another girl i passed on the walk of shame a high five
She is a social worker. An actual good person trying to save the world. I feel like every time I give her an orgasm God wipes a little smudge off of my shit list.
False alarm it was margarita mix all over my hands not blood
He woke up in the ambulance thinking he was still in the club.
mind if i send you a dick pic? so you can see what she wasn't doing right?
Me focusing on not shitting my pants is keeping me awake.
Turns out the guy I peed on gave me a ride back to my dorm this morning.
You are a god.
TONIGHT IS GOING TO BE A FUCKING BLAST. EVEN IF I HAVE TO SET OFF A BUNCH OF FIREWORKS IN YOUR KITCHEN.
I just shaved my "bikini area" into a fucking pizza slice
YOU LICKED MY MAKEUP OFF.
He left a full handprint on my ass. He called it a "five-star review."
You can be responsible and still be on that ho life
If I make it through this whole bridesmaid process without anyone knowing that I actually hate everyone but the bride, including the groom, I deserve a complimentary bottle of vodka.
The neighbors in the apartment above us are at it again. The roleplay this time is cop and prostitute. I give it 30 minutes, you? Already sounds better than the last one
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