If it was for sex do you really think i would asking for a mass vote? I'm like fidel castro when it comes to sex. No public approval needed.
New all-time record for most uncomfortable I've ever been. A midget just asked me to restrap his fanny pack in the bathroom.
he suggested we appoligize to eachother. then do blow and painkillers & have ourselves a make-up party.
you kept naming everything at the party...like "boy i'm going to make out with" and "table i'm going to dance on later"
no today was horrible, i woke up and somebody slit my car tire and left an apology letter in my wiper that said "sorry wrong house"
I'm having a flashback of telling a guy that he was beautiful and graceful like a unicorn while playing shuffleboard.
Ryab! Make hr wtop. Mshe make sme speee. I don want to pee. I want sev. He was so igbad. Redpo.
We got to the party at eleven, and the host was already in the hospital from being stabbed. And she brought the stabber home with us when we left.
Yes. I am getting trashed on an open tab while judging a karoke competition
Impressive. I approve.
Dude my body has gone into shock from not eating frozen pizza and chips. I've been shitting like Richard Simmons after a night out of twerking in a corn field
He's gonna be so upset when he get's a real job and can't do serious drugs.
No idea who's grandma but people were just running around naked
Idk she seemed really innocent until she snorted that line of vicodin
and eventually we just all took our pants off
She just texted me saying "come over and eat me out, my vagina smells like honey glazed ham." I know I shouldn't be, but i'm just so curious.
Randomize
