I got called a slut by a bunch of girls that work at Hooters..wtf is that shit? explain that to me
I just farted in the dogs face to show him who's boss
if you don't let us come over today i'm not taking the second plan b pill. your call.
next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
I'm going to start telling people I'm a sophomore so they stop asking me about college and what I want to do with my life
Next test. Underwater blowjob. If you fail...out of water blow job
Still had my bottle opener ring on. Started to give him a hand job. LOL
I refuse to apologize. Any dick that comes that close to my face uninvited is gonna get bit
You should have hard cock pics on hand to send in the situation that you can't stop driving, pull out your cock, browse the countless pics I've sent you of my tits, get him hard and text a pic through. I mean, it's simple sexting ettiquette.
July fourth my place, drunken bubble slip n slide. Yes this is happening and yes I am 31
God I hope the gutter I die in is nice. You know, for a gutter.
You'd think the dry cleaners next door would be less judgmental for as much business as my theme parties bring them.
Dude, did you fall in a toilet on the way over here?
Was face down in one actually. Bars 2, Drew 0.
You rode your bike four miles to my house. Yelled "I'm so high!" Then crashed into his car. It's a problem.
So yeah, my old kindergarten teacher just asked me who gave me the hickies on me neck.
Randomize
