I failed the drunk obstacle course of trying to find my bed... consolation prize... a sore ankle and "disappointed' parents.
I love memorial day. It's drinking in the name of patriotism. God Bless America
I keep calling his kid the wring name. This is not helping my cause. And by cause mean his dick
I would makeout with my roommate, but im not drunk enough and she doesnt like bacon fat
My dad and I just got asked if "we wanted a more intimate setting for our date". The world is coming to an end.
Dude, I just had the best sex of my life in a porta potty at the NCAA girls lax championships but didn't get her name or number. But I have her sunglasses. How is this possible, I'm sad.
I love your life.
Cool. Some 22 year old kids gave me a ride home from the bar last night. In related news, I made out with a 22yr old last night. He was adorable
Is it socially acceptable to break up with someone over snapchat?
A fair warning: I don't think a cop will let you off the hook just because your birthday is on New Year's Eve
To be honest, waking up to 20 naked people in my house was not the weirdest thing to happen to me in the past 24 hours
And then I went through the chix filet drive through for breakfast in all my republican post sex glory
I had sex in a panda mask the other night.
At first it will make you think "how is this physically possible?" and then it will ruin an entire food group for you.
how do i act around someone who's shoes i puked in while naked and blackout?
Accidentally texted co-worker instead of bf “I’m wfh tomrw. Nooner? 💦”
Randomize
