new midget porn idea. Wizard of Jizz: Munchkins Revenge
the only difference between me and a prostitute was that i complained a lot more.
so i told him i still liked him. he laughed
well, your crazy. what did you expect?
I woke up with the wrong plaid-shirted guy in my bed.
coulda been worse. everyone in the drunk tank got free mcdonalds breakfast
the black eye was caused by a 12 year old girl in a vampire costume who punched you in the face after you aggresively screamed "TEAM JACOB!" in her face & howled at the moon...
She just sucked the buffalo sauce out of my beard. I've never been so disgusted and hard in my life.
My overnight senior got drunk and hooked up with Kaylee on Sunday. I checked Facebook and he already put down his deposit for next year. This school should pay me a commission.
U know that drunk state, where at 930 the next morning your sitting in a bath in ur bathing suit trying to sober up...yeah. That's where i am..
You're the second person to offer to fuck me in the bathroom at work. Idk whether I should feel honored, or if cvs is just a turn on.
The lady at the front desk wished you a happy hangover.
well I ran around the park drunk with a plastic baby and fell, all while screaming "I WILL PROTECT YOU CARLOS", yeah there's video
You were so drunk last night that you fell thru the bathroom door at the bar, ripping it off the hinges in the process. But, your birthday tiara stayed on thru the whole thing. I'd call it a succcessful evening. Happy birthday kiddo!
He really is. Owns his own house and has more than one towel!
I hate when he takes the condom off to cum all over me. It defeats the purpose.
It’s like having a barf bag and choosing to puke in your own lap.
Randomize
