Going back to my hometown to drink absinthe with highschool boys. Remind me to evaluate this decision tomorrow.
the next time i see a chick with leggings under her jean skirt...i'm gona beat her ass with a fashion magazine...
He thought I was flirting with him but really I just needed someone to hold me up.
Def walking back to my apt with a blender, an empty vodka bottle, and a half eAtn drumstick cone.
It's taken me 5 years and 2 beers to finally realize that maybe he isn't the dude for me. Also, that picking your major should be done sober, lest you find your self an art major.
Dude, its flawless. what could go wrong?
Jail. That could go wrong.
3 a.m. laundry plus 100 proof peppermint schnapps does not turn out well. Not only is there a puddle of detergent outside the laundry room that I spilled, but my clothes were found in the dryer wit a box of Franzia and a 40. Good thing I was too drunk to turn it on.
Dude, just be careful. Her invitation for BJ is just a trap for her to stick her finger up your ass.
I made it with a guy dressed as Mitt Romney. I told him "you can't have my vote, but you can have my body"
Lets just say that a certain piercing set off certain alarms when I went thru the airport detector/scanner thingie. David was high fived like 12 times.
We lost power at midnight which freaked out my roomate and friends. The power came back on 30 minutes later. We are now at the bar having "the rapture came and we were left behind" shots
You partied and then got cock slapped, Don't tell me you didn't have fun
The good thing about country bars is that the men generally look like men. The bad thing is the country music.
She told us she had powers and that eating tree bark cures the shits.
I wanted to make my beer stronger so I poured vodka in it. Why god....why
Randomize