I woke up on a raft in a bath tub filled with beer. excellent night.
I am planning my day around naps and lesbians.
It's total crap. On a side note I watched a porn of 4 guys wrestling in chocolate then messing around with each other. It was like a dream come true
His roommates came in and started a dance party in his room while we were having sex. He said it wasnt the first time.
I found his belly button lint in my hair. Can't say it was worth it.
I cannot describe the pre-ejaculative horrors thru the medium of text messaging
A bee came out of the shoe box and stung her. Even the insect community doesn't want her in those hideous things.
I might have pissed in the corner of someone's shed. They have nice lawn mower.
When he wakes up tomorrow with half shaved legs smelling like a preteens bathroom, I'm sure he will think he has had a great evening
You were supposed to be my wingman and all you kept to her friend was "kill it with fire"..
This country song on the radio just had a rap break. What. No. Why.
I need to thank someone for this kid's penis.
A shark bit my leg in the Gulf of Mexico well me and the T were banging so look for it in the papers
Its like a glacier coming out of my asshole.
Dude I just woke up with a dog sleeping on me.
I thought you didnt have a dog??
Exactly.
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