My goal for the party is to get everyone in a diaper. Reasonable?
even in the morning, she still thinks my british accent is real.
She transformed our coors light pitcher we stole from the bar into a fruit basket...
She just used a chaser for red wine.
I cant watch the real world now after jersey shore. its like trying to go back to vagina once uve had anal
You ruined his night from a different state? Impressive.
She woke me up, whispered "I like the size of your dick", kissed me, and rolled over and went back to sleep
She's an honest to god fucking ballerina. She did things I don't have names for.
All I know is that I woke up with my pajamas on inside out in front of a bowl of watered down kd. Sitting up. I didn't even make it to bed.
You told me to keep you from drinking, but we both know I'm not that kind of friend.
Doesn't matter how many times we tell him the kid's a freshman, he keeps repeating "cupcake boy shall be mine" and honestly you need to intervene
He can't just hit it and quit it and then eat your pop tarts on his way out.
I told him I had the birth control implant in my arm and he looked me in the eyes, said "Science!" and came in me
Oh man. I threw up in the first cab. Got kicked out. Roamed somewhere for awhile. Fell asleep in the back if the second cab. Woke up in my underwear on the living room floor with a frozen pizza (thawed) laying next to me
Thank you for stopping me from getting a butt tattoo. That was a good call.
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