Hangovers were designed by God when he decided that so far he had taken it WAY TOO EASY on me.
Get here now. This is going to be possibly my most dangerous idea ever, and I'm the guy who challenged a hobo to a breakdance fight.
She soaked the fruit in vodka for ten minutes and then mixed it with normal fruit and sherbert icecream. It was called "lottery fruit".
I will miss his soup and his dick the most
The fact that every guy you've slept with since you've lost virginty either have the same first or last name isn't normal.
Rick Santorum just suspended his campaign. Lets celebrate by watching gay pornography together.
I filled this oven with as much Pizza as I could, and I've been eating out of it for three days.
Just ate the last piece. Refilling the oven.
Pretending to leave a voicemail when the person answers the phone....that's gotta be drunk dial level 99
His hands kept asking for sex, but all I could think was "dude, this is going to ruin my high".
I woke up in a trash can. Please dude. I don't know what I did to you last night, but I'm sorry. Epically sorry. Please call me back. Please.
It looks like I murdered a care bear and put its blood in my hair to warn the others off.
My one night stand from last night is currently mowing my lawn for me.
Have you seen him ? Seriously. No one is that straight.
I just wrote my resume on the same park bench I got felt up at in freshman year of highschool... I've truly come full circle
Should I tell him how he got the bruise on his ass or just enjoy his theories?
Randomize
