she said she could "feel the heat of my groin" against her. ruined the whole fucking moment.
alright got my week's quota of sex in, ready for modern warfare 2
we talked for like an hour, i feel like we really bonded. i mean i was simultaneously giving him head but you get the point.
my night ended in me puking all over jenna's bed, then me trying to wash the sheets in the toilet.
The cop was more concerned with the fact I had cowboy boots on with shorts than the fact we were under age
cracked out the beer snorkel again. that thing has a five for five record of getting me naked.
he made his penis look like a sprinkler when he was coming. it was pretty cool actually.
I don't think he knows what shame means anymore. He gave some bar slut his sisters Tiffanys necklace, in exchange for anal.
His dick is longer than my foot and I'm a size 9. I'm literally kicking myself in the vagina
First thing on my "to do" list- get sober for community service.
She was to tired for head so she opted for a footjob with poor results. I dont want to talk about it
I said "I am wrapped in the Cocoon Of Comfort! You should go." He started to argue and I yelled "COCOON OF COMFORT!!!" silencing him
A homeless guy wouldnt accept my granola bar because he didnt have any teeth. I think i win the prize for the ultimate rejection
Just chugged a Bloody Mary in 60 seconds flat. New personal best! Happy Sunday!
Look at us. Planning our business meeting. Including snacks like shrooms & trail mix.
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