dude chill. it wont be anything like your seventh grade birthday party.
I can’t believe the potential orgy I left behind at Waffle House.
Must be January. Theres a fat chick on an elliptical wearing khaki capris. Someone doesnt own any workout clothes
his blanket is still in the back seat of my car, its like a constant reminder of his small penis
Let's just say my vagina is not superimpressed with the superintendent of schools.
He broke up with his gf yesterday so he could give me our annual Christmas sex at midnight.
Marry him. Now.
How can I politely yet provocatively ask you for a cock shot?
So apparently when I'm drunk and want water I pant like a dog and expect to have water given to me..
Well I accidentally flashed a 76 year old woman, i'm in a house full of republicans and Im almost drunk enough to give the gay rights speech so i'd say this wedding reception is going great
I'm pretty sure the guy who was grinding on me while I was trying to get a drink at he bar was one of my tinder matches
I woke up missing my shoes and my left eyebrow. MY. EYEBROW.
Gary just stuck his dick in his Guinness. I can't even make this up
I cannot believe I accepted his penis into my body.
How did i spend $200 last night?
Every time you went to get me a drink, you also came back with shots. Then you fell down the steps.
My favorite part was making you pull out your lucky steelers vibrator and show it to jerome bettis at the bar
Randomize
