Dude michael jackson died, guess he's not 'stayin aliveee' any longer.
Uh dude that wasn't a michael jackson song it was the BGs
I think most guys look at porn as a fallback career. I mean I know I do.
It's like he's trying to get head in every car except his.
He said in a slur "I go so hard, even when I..." and cut himself off by projectile vomiting all over the ice luge.
Based off the amount of cat hair on my poncho....i stole a cat last night.
I suppose I should wish you a happy one year of bumping uglies
If we don't have crazy animal sex tonight at least twice, I'll know he's cheating on me.
Who wouldn't want crazy animal sex with you?!
A cheater.
Shirley Temple died. We owe it to her to get dirty shirley wasted.
I'm trying to be all porn star and he's making it all The Notebook
I distinctly remember telling him "I'll suck your dick while you eat pizza"
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST
I dunno that I'd be trusting enough of junkyard tequila to drink it.
You don't get to call me bro after you've had your dick in me.
You went into my bathroom put on my bathrobe.. Said excuse me then went in my front yard and started yelling who ate my whopper..
I drank Dr. Pepper and instant breakfast mix together and threw up sober for the first time.
Randomize
