Funny thing- my attraction to each one is inversely proportional to his level of availability.
this guy literally just gave me a gold star sticker for the "stellar" blow job i gave him. ashamed? i think not.
The usual, bring face make up, I have a weird gash on my nose, probably from my one night stand
Of course... Double fistin nati light cuz the powers out and it cuts down the times i gotta open the fridge... Genius
You know how girls with huge tits have back problems? Do you get knee problems or something?
You force fed me pizza in bed last night. That was fun
I fully committed to my astronaut costume, to say the least. blacking out on moonshine and having a moonwalk of shame this morning: happy Halloweekend.
I feel like you're the reason public nudity is illegal and generally frowned upon in society
Whoever decided to put a Denny's that close to the strip club is a genius.
I can already feel the hangover I'll be having on New Year's Day. I don't know if I'm prepared for this.
DONT TELL ME I CANT HAVE AN ENTIRE BOTTLE OF VODKA AT DINNER. IM AN ADULT. I PAY BILLS.
I'm a girl who met my last three bfs in gay clubs. Think I'm doing something wrong?
So I "accidentally" brought my road beers into church for this wedding
And they fell out of my pocket on the pew. Made quite a noise...safe to say I'm batting a thousand
Its because she suspects I'm a frequent drug user, which I am, but I am going to make her feel like she is crazy for believing it.
I got there and she was on her balcony drinking out of a bottle of vodka and smoking a cigar.
Randomize
