I'm basically sure i was the reason for glitter on his penis
I just remembered before I gave him head I couldn't find a hair tie and he offered to hold my hair up. Maybe we were wrong.. Maybe he does have a heart.
our health teacher's ringtone is Bad Romance and she has a tramp stamp. i will not skip this class, ever.
I remember saying "sorry" to the blunt before throwing it out the window
"Hung over, tired and having a faint scent of some body butter and random pieces of glitter from a girl named gigi, almost arrested in drug bust, $40 Canadian in my pocket and all i got was this lousy Tshirt" shirts dont exist, but they need to
no normal human would even think about making waldo slutty but you
He just told me that he goes squirrel hunting. NO LONGER BANGABLE.
so far I've only met her once and hung out one other time. Up to 5 BJs already. That's serious efficiency.
No one should ever have to Neosporin their nipples. At least he apologized.
Drinking a pint every 8 mins right now. Power hour aint shit.
Good luck
Trying doe a second hour and I.cant open my eyes
So far today I've found 3.5 million dollars in savings. Pretty sure management is gonna start buying me hookers if getting laid has this much payoff
I was gonna buy a KIA, but then I remembered how awesome the sex was in the back of a Hyundai so I went with that.
I can't believe you didn't come out. There was a duckling ON THE BAR!
Im quite confident that my struggle with sobriety ended last night sometime after dinner
All I remember is being in the middle of the road puking and my bestfriend cheering me on from the passenger seat...
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