So I just had this crazy idea, and no it has nothing to do with the fact that they made me take shots at work.
laughing at 16 and pregnant while fucking w/o a condom....
i always knew you were classy
I got a Cease & Desist email from NBC for downloading Bruno. I am not going down for gay porn.
May or may not have found my way onto a stripper bus. To Chicago.
Eventually the creepy theater major quirks will come out. Probably in bed. Like role playing as the Phantom of the Opera
I woke up and blew hamburger out my nose. That kinda night.
I woke him up this morning and said I have a meeting w my advisor in an hour you need to wake up, cum on my face, and take me to my car.
Apparently it's ok to apply for building permits drunk. I feel like there definitely is a law preventing that.
By the power invested in me, I now pronounce your taco to be meaty. Meaty taco meaty taco meaty meaty meaty taco.
If your relationships aren't working out because she doesn't have a penis THEN maybe you should give dudes another go
Dougie got over his pride nerves. Found him dancing on a float wearing nothing but rainbow boxers.
My fucking earlobe is bruised what the hell
Shia LaBeouf arrested in austin for public intoxication. JUST DO IT
I let a drunk straight girl spank me with a metal paddle at the bar tonight. Remind me to never do that again.
I finished my first whiskey and I'm waiting to have a second one in celebration when your pregnancy test comes back negative
Randomize
