I would have done the walk of shame but I couldnt walk
in spanish class. the girl next to me asked what Galapagos were. i told her they were islands. now she thinks Galapagos means islands in spanish
At one point last night while tipping the bartender you looked at him and said "If I need money later, I'm taking this back"
Now that the fun of having an iPhone has worn off I find that using screen as a coke tray is by far my favorite app
Honestly, where the fuck is osama bin laden?
Just pooped at the strip club. NOT NORMAL . I may be a little too comfortable here.
Disregard that. She just puked into her boot and started screaming.
Three people drank on "never have I had sex in a tractor." Iowa at its best?
Walk back down Church toward Mass Ave. Take a right and head for the guy in a kilt on top of the really tall unicycle. C u soon!
she gave me her number and i just said "no. cant."
So i had a feeling this dude with one leg in a wheelchair was following me around Walmart turns out I was right. He just asked for a picture of my feet.
i mean i let him but still...
Was it cause you feel bad for the ridiculousness my vagina goes through because same
Do you think it's a bad sign of the outcome of the pregnancy test I'm about to take that I was eating a fudgsicle on the way into the drugstore? Would it make worse to tell you I also bought a big ass bag of Cornnuts?
getting my period the day i moved was my bodies way of saying 'congratulations youre not leaving town with anybodies babies!'
I mean the power was out what was I supposed to do
Randomize
