She was so drunk that I kept trying to switch out her wine for water. Sort of like Jesus, but in reverse.
she was screaming in french about how classy it was to be drinking wine. oh... she was drinking it out of the bottle. with a beer in her other hand while throwing up.
LMAO!!! just remembered you said this to me last night. "sometimes you post too many Jesus tweets. It's not that that's really bad... But I roll my eyes and you should know that."
I was drunk but it's true
i'm thankful for my girlfriend's hot cousins....god, i love her family parties.
Sorry I had passed out by this time I think, with the chicken fingers ON my face in my bed, with all the lights on, and ketchup all over.
I'm so hungover I literally am considering drinking from the fishtank to avoid getting out of bed.
Can I just say I love the fact that were in business with guys where I can write a hand job up hoes down text message
Well I can't go home with anyone tonight bc I stuffed my bra
Most drunken moment of the night is me pouring Chanel no. 5 all over your boobs and rubbing it in...
im too broke to be in a relationship this close to the holidays
omg so there's this guy on the roof and he just stripped for no reason and now i think he's making out on the rooftop with some other guy? who are these people
I had a sex with someone last night and I was so drunk. i told him to tell me his whole name so I can say it back to him in a "sexy" way.... Because I forgot it
I need to stop getting so drunk at bowling
IT'S FUCKING BABY SEASON ON FACEBOOK. MY VAGINA WANTS TO THROW UP
I think it stinks she’s cheating on him. My vagina on the other hand is tingly thinking about a summer of sexual healing
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