I wish i could go to google and type in drug dealers and it would bring up a number, a product and direction
Everything was going good until she wanted to update her status...You forgot to close pterodactyl porn from this morning. Clothes went back on.
I've blown him so many times I feel like I have a better relationship with his dick than I do with him.
He looks like the kind of guy that would jack off to weird things.
Opened my wallet to find a slice of ham with a phone number written on it in sharpie.
Not much, just your average college male Sunday cleaning period blood out of the carpet.
Tell me you're kidding.
Besides scarred, I'm not much of anything right now.
I know you hold the fastest time for "zoo downhill wheelchair racing" but I don't see what that has to do with this.
Last two new years I ended in jail by 12. Can we wait until its actually 12:02 this time to do something stupid. I'd like to spend the first minute of 2012 free.. At least.
He needs to seriously stop texting me at 3am for sex. Late night and early morning hours are for the guys who DON'T bust a nut in the first 5 minutes of making out.
Yeah minute men are best for late afternoons when you're inbetween running errands and have nothing to do.
Try to make ecstasy cheese. Capitalize on the molly and greek yogurt trends. MARKETING
Lets trade lives
And i will lay in bed and piss all over everywhere, drink whiskey and have sex with married bears
I got back and Katie was asleep holding a burrito. I woke her up and she ate it and passed back out.
He just didn't want his drunk dick pulled out of his windbreaker at the family party
Answered a bio test question bc of watching phineas and ferb. Remind me to always drink when studying.
You know shits really hit the fan when you start using public bathroom air freshener spray as perfume
what? where are you?
Randomize
