I painted my nails silver
And what are the implications of that?
Is there supposed to be a msg in that? Just thought ud like to know it looks like I fingerbanged an alien
Whats contracted in vegas does not stay in vegas....
Mango Malibu should win a nobel peace prize
i was gonna tell him a really embarassing story about you, but then i remembered im in all of them
Just fucked in his moms tanning bed. While it was on. Weirdest. Tan. Ever.
He told me I had nice tits + they have a great shape. + then proceeded to flatten my boob + show me what the gross tits he's seen look like.
okay just a general question, but if i got arrested, who here would bail me out. this is important.
So our 'date' consisted of getting drunk off champagne at four and photo-bombing the shit out of tourist's pictures all over the city. Thoughts?
I got to masturbate in Rome in a gorgeous hotel room. Don't try and tell me I need a boyfriend
I give up. I can't handle that class sober any longer. I have an army of whiskey shooters for the next three weeks. Wish me luck.
Guys, as my favorite vagina consultants I have to share something.
My professional advice is not to put lemons in your lady pocket.
Just broke my no shot rule again.. Made out with a stranger. That's 0 for 3 this month for the record
I should come with a warning like "do not feed me tequila or cocaine, I will ruin the party and cry"
Yeah, sorry about that. Dropped the phone on my face while I was watching porn.
I think I was high. I asked a dude at chillis if they had a cereal buffet
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