Ummmm the art teacher neighbor asked me to pose nude for her art class for cash.
Why are all the lights on in my house? Every single one. Someone should turn them off but I'm the only one here and I'm sure as hell not doin it.
She is just riding on my slutty coat tails.
My present? It was a fake boarding pass he made in Photoshop. He litterally just gave me a one way ticket to Pound Town
What's the over under on catching something from your sister?
I never thought that it would get to the point where I would have to specify that by "hang out" I meant "fuck like rabbits." Growing up shouldn't be this way.
... I threw up in the shower this morning
You were "I'm not drunk" drunk.
I was feeling sad so bedroom vodka seemed like the best solution at the time.
Six words: 3rd Degree Burn On My Dick
saying, "have a good fall!" After fucking a virgin boy is good etiquette, right?
A penis isn't a time share. I want to own not rent.
He went down on me for an hour and a half. He needs to get promoted more often.
Not sure if I should ask if I can have my underwear back or just avoid that all together.
Just had to read the instructions to my microwave. How am I so high?
Let's make a rule now, to not smoke weed out of our trumpets. After tonight.
Omg, new summer goal: sex in a bouncy castle.
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