I called her the wrong name twice and she still called me back this morning. DO I still wait two days to call her back?
he called me a worthless slut and then went 2 the bathroom 2 pee on the floor before leavin. but he was really hot and he left his jacket, should i call him?
we were playing true or dare on a webcam chat and i was way to drunk ...i ended up having to drink my own piss outta a beer bottle, life couldnt get any worse right now
Talking to this girl is like playing minesweeper on hard. There's red flags everywhere.
She got mad when I told her I'd bone her mom. She got MORE mad when her mom heard, and was flattered by it. Proud to say I attract MILFS.
i'm sorry, but my penis isnt the solution to your problems
On a scale of one to everyone dying I say let's aim for a 7
The last thing I remember is ordering two Martinis while yelling 'CAN YOU PUT THAT IN ONE GLASS?'
Teflon bitches. Nothing fucking sticks to this kid, not even a kid. Maury Povitched this shit outta that situation.
I did sing regulators with a random black dude at The Rail without looking at the screen, hugged him and walked off stage. I pretty much live up to all expectations.
Whoa, I am aware of WAY too many squirrels right now...
Note to self don't give these guys your number. I've seen more dick tonight than a proctologist sees his whole career
do you ever feel so high you're swimming backstroke and then you realize you're still laying in bed on tumblr
We may not see eye-to-eye on much, but I'm definitely willing to let you see eye-to-vagina again.
This is Ryan, Kristin's husband. I don't know if you meant to send that pic to me at 3am. You may want to call Kristin. Neat piercing though.
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