New low. Found an ant nibbling on my last xanax. Flicked it away and popped it in my mouth anyways.
As long as they suck a good dick I don't care what fruit they have and where they have it
I just took went to the bathroom and it smelt like blue curococo... I didn't flush yet so head on up if you wanna know what a good night smells like.
i need you to babysit me first week back at school. havent had tequila, adderal, or sex w randoms in 3 months
Sometimes I wonder why I hang out with you. And then you show up half naked at my door with a half gal of vodka, and I remember why.
I sat in the bathroom on the counter and gave out advice to all the random people that walked in
Aww. I feel like I need to kill a puppy just to make room in the world for how cute you are right now
Craig, a bottle of Jamison, and I had a party on the roof last night. No idea how I got down. My injuries indicate fall...
Dude walks in wearing jean shorts and a graphic tshirt and goes home with an attractive female. EXPLAIN YOURSELF UNIVERSE.
I was just drinking but now I'm drinking and chasing with red bull. I call this "getting ready for work"
He told me to keep watching the Grammys and then went down on me.. I think I'm in love.
So, just how hungover are you?
Not at all, surprisingly.
That has to be your X-Men power.
You were drinking tequila through a straw.. and kept waving your arms at me and getting this intense stare down as you muttered something about jedi mind tricks.
All I know is when I asked you how many fingers I was holding up, you said "Hippo"
After drinking all day I popped an adderal, slammed three beers in a row, apparently told the bartender "thanks bitch" then ran on stage.
Randomize
