His mom told be she once got turned down for playboy. 1 biggest mistake Hugh made. 2 is she hitting on me?
He wants to call Lloyd's of London and have my mouth insured.
12 garbage cans filled with water, a beer can floating in every garbage can, 20 ft. apart and you shoot with dodge balls..and thats only how the night began
I'm on my fifth cocktail in twenty minutes. I don't think I will end this on two legs.
The sad thing is; I'm getting used to walking around feeling like I could hurl at any minute.
The fuck-me-pumps were hot, the XL hoody kinda ruined it.
I used to put Bugles on my penis and pretend it was a wizard.
You should be glad you didn't come with last night. I watched pirate porn for the first time in my life as the 9th wheel.
i repeatedly had to ask him if he was into this because he kept talking about random things while i jerked him off. i got annoyed and in order to annoy him back, i told him i wanted to watch him do it. he also talked about basketball WHILE cumming. NEVER AGAIN.
Trying to figure out what I just puked. Demon weed is salad. No more drunk buffets.
He spelled Steven with "ph", needless to say my nose was almost bleeding from the amount of axe he was wearing.
Sexting across continents is really a perfect example of how far technology has come.
I mean, "boo" isn't the appropriate response to someone dying...
i had every intention of working out now im just drinking wine and thinking about taking nudes in my thigh high tube socks
If I hear the phrase 'these unprecedented times' one more time I'm putting my foot up someone's ass.
Randomize