Leaving the dealer's house. He just gave me a sincere hug and said good luck. This cant end well.
This is worse that I thought. He's playing violin for me.
if that blanket by the dog bowl was your dog's "bed" then i apologize to bailey for having sex on it
$200 on plane. $110 on train. $5 per drink on plane. $15 per case on train. Plane 1 hour flight. Train 9 hour excursion. Hmmmmm.
Can I just put my face in your boobs and forget the world?
We played alot of beer pong and ventured into the woods with tiki torches
I'm offering you baseball tickets and my vagina, isn't that enough?
I'm hoping that by this time next year we will be smoking some weed at a gay wedding, asking "Mitt who?"
Nope I went the fuck home like an adult
i think ive crossed the line from sexually frustrated to sexually furious
I feel like every young boy's first wet dream is too have sex with the Pink Ranger. I am now fulfilling that dream for one man. I am a hero.
OH GOOD GOD THE BUFFALO WING SAUCE IS BURNING MY FUCKING CUNT. WHY THE FUCK DID I AGREE TO SPICY AND NOT MILD
Sorry again for almost setting you on fire.
My brothers dog was hit by a car and died. They're really sad about it.
But they're having a baby! It's like a dog only 40 billion times worse!
The more drunk I get the more I want to steal a lamb
What would be the possible repercussions of lamb theft
Randomize
