I'm trying real hard to keep it on the DL how drunk I am at lunch with my grandma.
Where's the Hot Mess Express headed tonight?
I hope that's not the new nickname for my friends and me.
i'm pleased to announce i can now open a bottle of wine with my shoe if called upon to do so.
I convinced a girl to do a shot of salsa someone fell through the whole on the porch and Sara swallowed a beer tab
Eventually evolution will just give us a better liver anyway, so our great great grandkids should THANK us for our binge drinking.
Why is it only times like these when I'm scrubbing the cum stains off my futon before my family gets here that I seriously begin to question my life choices?
you took my bottle from me saying i was unprepared for its magical qualities. then you buckled it in the backseat.
Remember when we pinky swore we'd never feel hungover alone...
I mean...he was throwing up for almost 3 consecutive hours. I don't think there's a chance in hell that would have tasted even close to tolerable.
If I was 5 years younger and single...
She STILL wouldn't fuck you.
I woke up with the gnarliest cold/hangover combo
Thats what u get when u have butt ass naked rooftop sex at night in december
Worth it.
You were supposed to catch herpes, not feelings!!!
Just puked in front of a high school tour group. Based on the standing ovation, we have a solid group of freshman coming in this fall.
What part of the grouping of the words "anal beads" confuses you?
I feel like a dancer trapped in the body of a math instructor. Love, Mom
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