Picture the opening band right now: euro, beer guts, one member in oversized hipster lumberjack apparel, the other in childsized american apparel and shorts. Singing in german.
ron's 8" boning knife is for sale. oh and it comes with a flavor injector.
High?
hahahahaha turkey breast
operation harelip BJ is a go
You just kept yelling "SATAN!" at me every time I walked by
he was chasing shots of soco with fistfuls of my birthday cake
Hungover Fun Fact #4: Eating a grilled stuffed burrito WILL make you blow chunks in the ice maker at work.
We've done the math and the dogs tails are wagging at a rate of 3000 wags per hour. Stoned.
A DRUNK EMT IS BETTER THAN NO EMT!!!
I'm being responsible and going as a gay, slutty Mormon missionary. It's responsible because I'll have a bike helmet on for when I fall over because I'm too shitfaced to stand upright. It's safer than Count Fagula. I just need to come up with a line equal or greater than "Blaaaa I want to suck your dick"
I rode a bull tonight, There is absolutely no reason my dick is not in some chicks mouth
I just want you and your enormous dick to be my fucking rebound so we can move on with our lives
Just fucked a MILF from Alaska. I love traveling.
this case of pbr just wont end. i keep finding more.
you are singlehandedly the most cursed object the universe ever conceived
My boss is explaining why he thinks time goes by faster and faster. Bc of the rockets. No lie.
Randomize
