508, what difference does it make? You were alone, anyway.
can't decide if i want to get drunk or coked for this harry potter thing.. it is kind of long
aren't you going with children?
Theres a handprint of sauce on my frig, one streaked across my face, a trail of it to my bedroom and sauce all in my bed and i have no idea what the fuck i ate.
It sounds miserable..I have to wear a dress and it's a cash bar?
Walking through campus with a grocery bag full of pot brownies. I'm like the santa claus of 4/20
I have officially tracked lube all over our house on the bottom of my socks without knowing it. Don't slip when you come in
Well for better or worse the home brew is almost done, want to get drunk/loose your sight tonight?
I was going to ask the people in the kitchen to keep the volume down, but they're cooking pasta at 3 AM and one complimented me on my polka-dot nightgown. They're high. No volume control.
just found out that she named her cat after me.
Man i fell asleep on a random persons porch on the way home and woke up to the family banging on the windows trying to wake me up
Like who turns down taking a nap inside of someone in 2014.
Fell asleep on kitchen floor again, chicken nuggets everywhere.
I just want somebody who'll randomly bring me pizza and lovingly squeeze my butt. Is there a dating app for that, do you think?
This dude is trying to sext and all I can think about is taco bell and their new crunch wrap sliders
Hmmm, well all I'm saying is don't do anything too irrational because you miss him and are blinded by his large penis.
Randomize
