hot ketchup is not a substitute for marinara
My valentine's day: watching The Notebook, and porn, eating chocolate, and ice cream. All while jacking off.
Wow... you've managed to cover all of the sad girl stereotypes that exist.
Omg. In the pub, there's a guy shouting at the olympic channel 'yeah! Kill that motherfucker!' we're watching figure skating.
I have too much pride to pick his chest hair out of my mouth again
figured you should hear this from me. Your refrigerator door is way broken. I opened it last night when i was drunk and tried to climb the shelves. i got to the one with the mustard.
It's like a party bus, but there's a glass, airtight wall separating the driver from the passengers, and once everyone's on, they pump vaporized THC into the cabin.
i was drinking at the bar last night with a guy with no bottom teeth, wearing zubas and a polka dotted hat. if that isn't the definition of wisconsin, i dont know what is
Honestly I think at this point I purposefully schedule nothing on Sundays anymore so I can spend all day wallowing in my shame.
If you haven't gone to the store yet. Can you PLEASE get me some clippers my balls will thank you later
the cops accepted 42 wallaby way Sydney. and the cops, and cab driver accepted the new address. please tell the win i am experiencing
His penis looked like how I would imagine Satan's pinky finger.
Just watched a girl lose her dignity at the corner...it's not even midnight
All I could think about while we were fucking was what Hogwarts house he would be in
They offered me pot brownies in 7 minutes flat. Imagine my horror when I had to be like, are those gluten free?
He's really cute...He stopped talking to me because i pulled my skirt up and peed in a demi plie position...
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