Pride was great cause we really can now appreciate how far we've come as gay people!
Doll, if you're still fucking strangers behind the WeHo Sonic while high on E then we've come as far as 2003...
you told the bartender not to open the bottle because you were gonna put it in your purse in case you get cut off later
No fucking idea. Just paid for my chipotle in chocolate coins, though. Either there is a huge language barrier happening here, or my big boobs are finally paying off.
HE'S turngign 18teen real soon.k
I said I usually like going out for coffee before torturing someone's genitals. He said he understood.
You'd be surprised at the stuff my vagina tells my brain to say
I can't wet the bed. That was the old me. I'm grown
Oh my god
Just dodged a state trooper, your weed will be there shortly. Fear the unbustable!
Standing here wondering if its a good idea to cook pork chops in the toaster or not.
He stopped his car in the middle of ongoing traffic to ask me to marry him. Then he got pulled over. Yeah I'd say the slutty Dallas Cowboys costume was a success.
Your hotness may or may not have landed him in jail.
He yelled "HOO-ah!" like Al Pacino when he pulled down his pants. Trust me, he has every right to.
I'm more of a "get high and take a bath" kinda guy.
I lost my bra, he lost his virginity. Seems like a fair trade off.
If I die write a nice eulogy and bury me with my star wars bobbleheads
All I can taste is Pickle Juice and Cocaine.
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