New rule: no balls on the kitchen counter.
The answer to your question is yes. I am wearing a star of david to the bar in order attract a jewish man.
you went around the entire night in your french maid costume dusting off the "cob webs" on everyone's crotch saying "you havent gotten any action in a while"
I was wondering why i got so many friend requests the next day...
decided to have an easter egg hunt this year. the golden egg has weed in it and all the others have shots of vodka. who said we were too old for easter?!?
i just realized why god gave us younger siblings....to DD for us when we come home for the summers
I dont want to tell you. Lets just say that a lot of things are reminding me of your dick right now
oh and if she happens to say anything about a cantalope and tissues... just go with it
that trick or treat candy bucket that we used to collect beer money last night was very helpful when I vomited in it this morning
I was running around taking people's drinks at the bar and just dumping it into my Gatorade bottle screaming roofies.
We haven't even scratched the surface on the damage we could do. Just saying
She kicked in my bedroom door in only high-heals with a bottle of wine, announcing it was "cock-o-clock"
I WAS JUST SITTING HERE BEING SNIFFED BY ODD WOMEN FOR A SOLID 5 MINUTES. My face was a twist of utter fear and confusion...
Apparently this is my life now. Fucking men in their 30s with small dogs.
4 people stoned, 3 boys I've slept with, 2 I gave chlamydia, and a partridge in a pear treeeeee
How festive
Lol, perhaps. But the drinks are so cheap, the music is better, and the bartenders and bouncers all know my name. I can't abandon it, even if it is a gay bar, its still my Nirvana.
Randomize
