You are a beautiful, beautiful young lady. Your heart is made of tissue, blood and love. I will call you very soon, Princess Sophia.
The cop didn't care that I was peeing on the wall of my dorm building... All he said was, "come on, it's 9am."
So I hogged the stall at Denny's for so long that a little kid shit his pants and ran crying to his mother. Am I a terrible person for this being the proudest moment of my life?
There's a fat drunk walrus bitch here next to me and shes already puked and now falling on herself
OH FUCK NOW HER BOYFRIEND IS MAKING OUT WITH HER VOMIT HOLE
Sounds like a good blink 182 concert...
I didn't join FB to see my only child straddle that boy in all her pictures.
I just puked in the walgreens aisle buying gatorade and advil for my hangover... i guess i failed
so I called to to smoke and you didn't pick up so I smoked and now I'm a race car
i just recognized the girl sitting across from me from a lesbian porno... should i ask for an autograph?
I take back everything bad I said about that song party in the usa. There's just something about seeing a cross dresser lipsing it that makes a song sooo much better.
don't tell me I don't love her. i once slept with my girlfriends therapist, just to find out if she was cheating on me.
So yes, he's hot, a scorpio, an artist and a perfect cock. I think my bi train just arrived in gay town.
He might have if you were a little more subtle about your feelings instead of telling everyone multiple times how much you wanted his dick
No it's okay, we're just driving to random places with the portable stripper pole and causing a ruckus.
Oh that's normal
Nothing says "I Love you" like my dick in a pizza box
I got conspiracy theory drunk.
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