I puked the same amount of times as the number of bars i went to last night
is it bad that i think of my life in terms of the sims? like when i'm hitting it off with someone, i really wish a plus sign would appear above my head. and when i throw up from drinking way too much, a minus sign.
if my college career had corporate sponsors, they would be natty light and aim toothpaste.
Give me a heads up the next time you BBM me a voicenote of you cumming so I'll make sure not to play it while in the car with my parents. Miss you too.
Just got the test results back. All clean, Now whose an idiot for going bareback in South America for 3 months straight.
We should probably just have a threeway and get everyone on the same page.
I ended up giving him head, i think it was mostly a defensive move so that he wouldn't discover i was wearing those onesy spanx
He fell off a seesaw, tore half his ear off and somehow convinced the paramedic he was allowed to have a beer while being treated
Was I holding a cat when you saw me? Because that was the height of that party for me.
I totally just stopped for a booty call on the way to my parents for easter....good friday is an understatement
just found out that she named her cat after me.
This morning, I found 5 naked people in Steve's bed with post sex hair, and Steve fully clothed sleeping on the ground.
Certain restrictions may apply. Common side effects of sex with me include unbridled joy, a healthy glow, soreness and the inability to walk for short to long amounts of time. If any of these side effects occur please consult your physician, so he/she can prescribe me a "high-five".
I couldn't find my contact solution so I thought mixing toothpaste and water would work
I miss all the tiny banana hammocks... When can I go back to ogling? I can do it from a lot farther than six feet without any complaints.
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